tideshift

Monday, July 31, 2006

The Double-Edged Sword of My Children

I am in the process of trying to change the focus of my blog, but not certain which way to go. After more than a year and more than 150 posts, I finally got some books on the subject of blogging, to learn more code and more things to do. Stay tuned for some of those changes!

I'm motivated by lots of factors, including encouraging comments by Ian over at transafixion plus thoughts about Bernice's work at Plainfield Plaintalker.

But mostly it's about trying to figure out much more concretely how things are going to work after the oil crash, the transportation crash, the housing bubble crash, the American and global recession, the next few heat waves, droughts, hurricanes and wildfires and all the other disasters that are about to completely uproot so many human beings - those who aren't already on the run from war and tsunamis and dam-building projects.

I really believe the central governments will be among the first things to collapse, and that such collapses are imminent. I can't worry about where the weapons of mass destruction are going to wind up. So that will leave us with local governments, local institutions, our neighbors. We are going to have to face global problems, but we are going to have to do it locally.

That's the thinking behind the Think Globally, Act Locally Lecture Series I've put together at my church. And that's the thinking I want to put behind my blog for the forseeable (Ahhh!) future. I want to write about the Colombian Peace Villages, and traffic calming, and all the other ways that very small groups of people are getting things ready for their children and grandchildren to live more free, less afraid, than we do.

That's where my own children come in. They are both my excuse for not doing more, and my reason for so desperately wanting to. My son is at his grandparents, and my daughter is sleeping right now. When she sleeps, it's the one hour of time I get, some days, to do this work that I care about so much. The rest of my time is spent playing with one or both kids, taking them to the library, or to get groceries, cooking for and feeding them, bathing them, doing dishes, doing laundry and trying to snatch a few minutes of reading or scribbling notes for my next few posts. And trying not to fall down and nap from exhaustion when I do get an hour to work on this stuff. Which is hard. I am so tired, so often.

I suppose I should be grateful for the little time I get, for the Internet connection, for my fingers and my mind and my education and the support I get from so many people, and my relative health, and the fact that currently there are no bombs falling on me. I am grateful, somewhat.

But I also have a constant tension, the sword of Damocles over my head: Time is running out, topsoil is running out, oil is running out, what are you doing to get ready? Dishes? Resting? Again? The sense of responsibility, so lacking among so many at the top, is overwhelming.

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